


Unrequited

by AceHufflepuff



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: M/M, Past Kent Parson/Jack Zimmermann
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-21
Updated: 2016-09-21
Packaged: 2018-08-16 12:41:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8102767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceHufflepuff/pseuds/AceHufflepuff
Summary: No matter how much you try to ignore it, some small part of you knows how he feels about you.
3.7 -  LVA @ PVD - Part I reaction fic. Past Jack/Parse from Jack’s point of view.





	

No matter how much you try to ignore it, some small part of you knows how he feels about you.

 

You see the way he looks at you, and seems to keep looking after you've turn away. You hear his voice heavy with subtext with all his throwaway comments that maybe aren't as casual as they seem. You notice in his faintly trembling, clutching hands that this possibly isn't just physical for him. You know you aren't good at this sort of thing, at noticing and reading others' feelings, but all the small moments, the blips on your radar, add up. He never says anything outright, though, and you don't trust your observations enough to bring it up yourself. A small part of you knows, but another part isn't so sure, and an even larger part doesn't want it to be true.

 

\---

 

At first, you thought that you could return his feelings- whatever they even were- with time. You craved some sort of romance, of intimacy, of support when you couldn't hold yourself up, of something happy amidst the swirling chaos of your own head, that you jumped at the chance to be with him.

 

You're such good friends, and you've always wanted a relationship that grows from friendship to love. He's the only person you've known whose sexuality isn't just compatible with but matches yours. Everything lined up on paper well enough that you thought it could work out. And he was there and available and, you thought, probably your only option. You honestly thought you could love him.

 

You let him reach for you, and kiss you, and you let yourself fall into it and kiss him back.

 

You instantly know that you're not going to fall in love with him.

 

\---

 

But still, you tell yourself, you're not even sure that he loves you. You tell him that it's just physical, that he's still your best friend but not more. He doesn't dispute it.

 

You care for him deeply and crave the feeling of connection that hooking up with him brings, but you still don’t love him.

 

You can't help but be drawn back in to him a few more times. It's not the romance you wanted, but it's something, the closest you're going to get for now at least, and you're so tired of having nothing that you take it.

 

\---

 

You think that maybe it's not fair on him, but you can't force yourself to feel something you don't. It's not like you're pretending to have feelings for him. But you don't talk about it. You tell yourself that he would tell you if he had any issues with your arrangement. It feels faintly like avoidance, like a cop-out.

 

That's when you can no longer deny to yourself the looks and the comments, the little hints that maybe he feels more for you than you do for him. They dig under your skin, burrowing deeper each time, an irritating unreachable itch. You don't even know why, but something about the idea of him loving you makes you deeply uncomfortable. You want him to back off. You try to tell him without words that nothing has changed, that you haven't developed feelings for him, that it is all purely physical for you. He's very dear to you; he's your best friend, but you don't love him. You don't want him to love you, but you think he might. You both continue to not talk about it.

 

\---

 

It's almost a relief when everything falls apart and as a result, whatever was going on between the two of you comes to a natural, if abrupt, end. You let yourself fall out of contact with him. You tell yourself you're making a clean break, that you're leaving your breakdown and the lead-up to it in the past. You mourn his friendship, but not the undefined in-between too much for you but not enough for him _something_ the two of you had going on.

 

\---

 

With time, distance, new friends and healing, you realise that you've moved on. With a couple of unexpected visits, you realise that he hasn't.

**Author's Note:**

> Also on tumblr [here](http://sweetsummerchildchowder.tumblr.com/post/150726217181/unrequited).
> 
> This fic sort of just... happened. I've had a friend who liked me but I didn't feel the same, and I never would have expected how uncomfortable of an experience that was. Apparently the update dug up some of those feelings, and this was the result.


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